Against my better judgment, I will continue to post my blogs on social media, since I would like the traction. I don’t know if I will post on Facebook though, as that got me in trouble, which yes, I guess is my fault, to an extent! I created this blog as a safe haven. I did not ask for management to know, since how could they? I don’t follow any managers at all.
I literally had such anxiety from what happened, that I had to take off work, today. I feel so uncomfortable with where I am, especially in life. If anything, I do want to learn how to take responsibility for my actions. It’s a different story when X person says to Y person “look what Dominic is saying.” I have total respect for this person, but I feel like I’m going to have this big bullseye on my back now.
My safety zone on here, now feels like a judgment zone. At the same token, it still is informing people about my condition. The way I think, act and perceive things in my life. I still am a child, in a sense, because of the emotional aspect. I do not have the coping skills to deal with certain things that are happening around me. One of them being, Radical Acceptance.
Yet, logically, I am glad this has happened because maybe I can learn from this. Maybe by the event that happened, I can really focus on how things happen within my realm.
I do know that other people will come my way, and not agree with what I have to say, or what I do. That is totally okay (in writing this). I don’t know how I’ll act when such an event really happens. I just want a safety net, and a place of comfort. People that will surround me and help me out. People that will lift me up when I fall, because I do fall a whole lot.
So maybe I do have to thank some of the people who have put me in a position of feeling really uncomfortable. I did eventually learn how to deal with it, and work through it. It’s still a really tough road for me, and this event that is happening now, is really going to test me. I know I want to run away from it (classic BPD behavior). I just want to start fresh, where nobody knows anything about me at all. Being on here, is a great thing, since I can share my story and help others, in the process, hopefully.