This was taken from my Facebook, yesterday:
“So I had an impulse to go venture out to RittenHouse Square to grab some food (god damn expensive, mind you). I made some chit chat with a stranger and daringly did the “take a picture of your food” thing, alone. Yes, it’s less awkward when you are with others. I can adapt to my surroundings, despite what I put in my head. I enjoyed my food and took a seat in the park for a little.
To backtrack in the day: a customer said I am always happy and in a great mood. Obviously, I can get on well with customers, which make the day run smoothly. Oh, if only they knew of the childish antics. Like holding out a product behind their back, asking if they want it and when they turn around, I just smile and say hello.
Point is: I know I am capable of doing things, it’s just a matter of finding that impulse. And when I have an impulse to go somewhere, I can’t wait for somebody. Hooray for doing things!! I would write this on my blog, but it’s been up and down, which is a killer.
I really wanna goto NYC (day trip), so if somebody wants to go, you better let me know or I’ll be boarding that bus alone!!”
As y’all can see, I do have some really good days when I don’t focus on my DX. Like, I am trying to find MYSELF and do things that feel comfortable to me. I actually went exploring again today. I didn’t really do anything extreme though. I had to get my parking permit renewed, so I had to go in town for that.
Afterwards, I decided to try going to the Ben Franklin Bridge, just to walk across it. It spans from Philly to Jersey, and it goes really high in the air. I am terrified of heights, and it obviously does put me off from doing something stupid. I feel like the instinct of survival always kicks in though, so I never feel anything of that caliber!
Well anyways, the bridge pathway happened to be closed, so I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t be there at all. I probably could have walked to the other side and continued but I didn’t. I just went on my merry way back to the subway and headed home.
I just feel like I am building up a little bit more confidence every day. There’s been some events at work, that I will report on later. I am struggling to get posts up, due to some technique issues. It seems that there is a problem with the server, and my friend is trying his best to figure it out. Besides all of that, I am really trying to make progress, especially because my therapist wants some action on my end. Oddly enough, this is all me though. My impulses to explore are my own. I am not being a Chameleon / mirroring anybody, as I only have myself. It really is a strange, yet freeing experience!