Identity Crisis

So my site hasn’t been up for a day, which really sucked. I know it was at no fault of my friend’s. It really made me frustrated though, as I like to be in control of everything. I didn’t like being at the mercy of waiting for somebody else to fix a problem, or not knowing exactly what the cause was, or for how long I would not have my site up for. I couldn’t even get into the admin section of my account, because the server I’m on, was full. I didn’t know this until I talked to my friend. The lines of communication are somewhat harsh, as there’s a bit of a gap of time between us.

That makes troubleshooting issues really time consuming. I also know that he works a lot, so feeling like a burden, is on the forefront of my mind. I’m sure he doesn’t mind, but just imagine somebody saying that their site is down. It’ll get old, fast. I mean, we do talk about other things, so it’s not all about the website. Only when it crashes to a stop, and I have to wait x amount of time for a reply and for an ETA. I MIGHT slowly back away and take my site to another server. Not as a bad thing, but more because I want to have control over everything. I say this a lot but, when I get a nice following, I cannot afford downtime like this. I’d go insane if I had a few thousand followers and nobody had a way to view my content.

Anyways, the only other thing I wanted to discuss in this post was: I’m having an identity crisis of sorts. For the past couple of days, I wanted to cut off my hair, completely. This is after a few years of growing it and pouring hundreds into coloring it. Yes, that much for some damn hair, because I wanted to make a statement in my life. Now I’m like “I just don’t want you anymore and I think I’m over it.” I absolutely loved ALL my colors! I loved the length of my hair too! I won’t get my natural black until I cut it all off, or do a hairstyle that’ll cut out all the color. I’m choosing the latter because it’s so damn easier to deal with no hair!

I don’t think this feeling will subside, as it’s been a few days now. At first, it was purely an impulse thing to do, but now I want to do it. It just feels gross, no matter how many times I wash it. I say that my hair is probably rejecting the concept of dyed hair now. It doesn’t look damaged at all, but I’m no expert. So yeah, that’s the news in my world. I hope everybody is doing well, and I’m sorry for the downtime!

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